Tuesday, December 15, 2009

You Can't Tuna Fish

Ok, let's all just pretend that I've been keeping up this blog for the last year and you all have been somewhat entertained. We'll just go from there.

If I suggest that sexual bias is alive and well in the divorce courts of Maryland doubt that I would get a lot of people arguing with me. HOWEVER, if I suggested that sexual bias played a role in my divorce hearing I would probably sound angry and bitter and I don't wanna sound that way. I'll just recap everything and we'll move on.

The custody evaluator insisted that the girls needed a primary residence. She decided that since I had no house, no job, no money, and no relatives in the area, my then soon to be ex should have primary physical custody of the girls. I have them for 12 days out of the month plus I pick them up from school and take them to dinner or whatever every other Monday. It's so close to a 50/50 split that I'm not too concerned with the label of Primary anything. We both share legal custody of the girls with mediation in the event that we are unable to agree on anything.

As far as the other stuff goes well let's just say that my lawyer and the judge didn't exactly see eye to eye on what was 'fair'. According to my lawyer there were some things said by the judge that could have been taken as sexually biased and in the end the judge had already made up his on the way this was all going to end. Personally, I was a bit offended but I won't make any comments about what was said as this was all told to me by my lawyer. I was not in the room to hear the statements that were made. I will say that if the comments had been made then it's just a sad commentary on where things still are in the courts.

But as I was leaving the courtroom feeling pretty much beaten and abused, a Maryland State Trooper who had been sitting in the back stood up, stuck out his hand and said that "I was his hero"

I've been told by the though my lawyer that my ex's lawyer would rather I not say anything else about my ex and that there could be more court stuff if I do. I'm not sure I can do that. Actually I'm pretty sure I can't do that. We'll see how it goes. I think I have a right or two if I'm not mistaken. Or did she take those too??

I'll be back soon. Lots, and lots of stuff still to tell.


Saturday, August 29, 2009

Take Me To The Other Side

I decided to write today in hopes of clearing my head a bit. It usually helps to write. Maybe it will now. Read along if you're so inclined.

We all learn the an important lesson, maybe the most important lesson, at a very early age. And that lesson is that life isn't always fair. Bad things happen to good people, good things happen to the bad. The karma wheel just keeps on rolling seemingly ignoring the people who need it most.

I'm driving down the highway one day when some @#$$% pulls up behind me, tailgates me for about 2 miles then swerves into the next lane cutting off the person beside him. He then zooms off down the road. So why am I the one who the police pull over for a broken brake light??!!!

I have my divorce hearing in 4 days. I'm trying to keep quiet until then. Let me just say (and I will tell you all about it afterwards) that I already know how this one is going to end. And no, justice won't be done that day. Ahhhhh karma is one fickle little bitch.

See you all in a few,

Thursday, May 28, 2009


I think that a big part of my problem right now is that I'm not really sure who I am anymore. So much of my life for the last five years had been spent raising two little girls and when that changed it left a huge void. Even after almost a year I'm still trying to figure out where I belong in the world.

Feeling the way I do has made it hard to write in this blog because I can see all the sentences going round and round in circles of nonsense with no apparent direction. I spend too much time editing my thoughts. The writing gets bogged down with me trying to explain what I meant instead of just leaving it up to you all to figure out for yourselves.

But there hasn't been a day that's gone by where I didn't have a thought or two that I wanted to put down here. So I'll try one last time. I think I have something to say. I'll let you all decide if it's important or not.

My next post will be about alienation and how children get caught in the middle.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Good Girls Don't.........

Sorry that it's taken me so long to get back here. I've had a ton to write about but I've been lacking the discipline it takes to sit at the computer and get it all out. I'll try harder this year.

The wife and I went before the judge in a preliminary hearing to establish temporary custody and support issues. The ruling gave me most of what we were asking for and I believe that the judge did what he thought was best for the girls. My wife told me that she was planning on appealing the judgement and when that didn't work they would be asking for a stay that would basically delay any action ordered by the judge. This is all about the money. The judge ruled that she owed me money retroactive to the order and she doesn't want to pay. Not much to do about it but to let the system do it's job.

We've been given 50/50 custody (both legal and physical) of the girls for now. I'm pretty happy with the way things were laid out in the court order. The judge asked that we both try to work together when making legal decisions for the girls and if we reached an issue that we could not agree upon we were each given the power to make the final decision in certain areas. For example, if we could not agree on what school the girls would go to next year then my wife would have the power to make the final decision. Likewise, if we disagreed on a health issue then I would have the final say. I had not unheard of it being done this way as it promotes communication between the parents.

Physical custody of the girls is a 7/7 schedule meaning that the girls are with me one week then with the wife the following week. Neither the wife nor I feel that this is working for the girls so we are discussing alternatives. The professionals I have talked to seem to feel that 7 days is too long for a child to go without seeing the other parent and I agree. Nikki appears to be 'ok' but I think it's much harder on Jessie. Anyway, my wife and I with the help of the custody evaluator are working towards a schedule that is better for the girls.

So this has been more of a legal update. I will fill you all in on the more personal stuff next time.

Jacob if you're reading this I wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you.