Sunday, March 7, 2010

Nothing Witty

Ok, by a show of hands I would like to know how many of you divorced daddy's out there are actively involved in your childrens lives.

Really??? 'Cause studies suggest that 8 out of 10 of you with your hands raised are lying your f@%king asses off. So if we have around 1 million divorces a year that involve children (this number is a bit dated but let's imagine this number hasn't increased too much), 800,000 of you 'men' spend less than 10 hours a week with your children. Is it really any wonder why teen suicides, pregnancies, dropouts, and runaways are so high and increasing every single minute.

But what do you guys care right? I mean, your ex is a bitch and she makes seeing your kids such a hassle. Besides you have a new life now with new problems and responsibilities. Maybe you have a new girlfriend and your too busy ignoring her kids to be thinking about spending an afternoon with your own children.

Seriously if I could take you all down to the river and chain anchors around your necks....


What you men fail to understand, what most men actually have problems with (in my opinion of course) is that you know how easy it is to prevent bad things from happening but you take little interest in doing the things you should to make sure that things don't get too out of control. When was the last time any of you had a physical checkup?? Better to have a finger up the butt now than an entire Hubble telescope and 5 NASA engineers probe your ass later.

So how about this. You are at work one day and you see a bunch of guys hanging out at the coffee machine laughing and joking. No one will tell you what's so funny. You come to find out later that somebody came across a video of your daughter on the internet doing things....well you get the idea. That's right daddy, your little Annie is doing what you thought only others guys daughters sometimes wind up doing. Of course you never thought of those other girls as somebody's daughter did you?

Or......

That boy of yours, the one that made you feel so proud of yourself has, at the age of 17, just dropped out of school. But he had to cause guess what, he's about to become a daddy too. Maybe he'll be a better father than you were. Don't count on it though because really, he didn't have much of a role model did he? Don't expect much of a Fathers Day gift this year. Pizza delivery guys don't make all that much.

Or.......

The ex has a new boyfriend. Great news right? Maybe she'll be less of a bitch or at least not have as much energy to bitch at you now that she has someone else to bitch at. But this new boyfriend has a thing for touching young children......that's right, let that sink in a bit. IT SUCKS BUT IT FUCKING HAPPENS AND WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR CHILDREN ARE GOING TO GO TO FOR HELP!!!!! NO ONE!!!!! Think about it.

Or.....

You die alone because no one gives a shit about your sorry, pathetic ass.



And this happens all the time. But it doesn't have to. Not to you.


Fraternal instinct is no better nor worse than maternal instinct. To say that women are better nurturers or caregivers is crap and a cop out. Yes, I was lucky in that I was able to form a very deep and personal bond with my girls that most men and women are not afforded the time to achieve. I'm no better a parent because of it but I am tied to my children forever because of it. Maybe you missed the first steps, or the first words or whatever but there are so many things, so many wonderful things to come in their lives. Don't miss out on them because someday you may regret it.

And regrets suck. Trust me.


More to come.

W

8 comments:

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Flying high in the sky.... said...

your kids are beautiful ..and you write really well... hope and wish you get the best in life..because A FATHER FOR LIFE deserves only the best...i am from India and here people give up on their extra-maritals/marital problems to live a compromised life only to make sure their kids dont go thru the pain they have chosen to go thru...some might take it as martyrdom syndrome..i believe it takes loads of guts and control on your mind/hormone to deliver to the little angel the promises we make to them when we conceive them :)...just felt like sharing ...if you think it is non-sense please ignore it ...take care and best of luck ..

YOU ARE A HERO ..because you CHOSE not to ignore the kids because of your problems... salute sir..

zendey said...

Keep up the positive co-parenting. My friend's ex cheated on and left her,and tried to take everything from her, including their adopted 8 year old son. They were given 7/7 custody, and he always told the child that if he wanted to live with his mother, dad would cut him out of his will, and he'd never survive. Every week he'd be colder toward his mom. He's now 24, still lives with dad,and never calls or visits her. She gave up college to keep him, and later became disabled by injury, but he's afraid of not being in dad's will, so will do nothing to help her. Nasty attitudes can be inherited!Do stay positive, no matter what SHE does.

Jaquanda Rae said...

I feel your pain reading this post and some of the others too. Please keep writing and never change. You're a good father and in the end, that is crucial in preserving the happiness and survival of a child.

I agree with a lot of what you said in this post about dad's stepdads, ex's and kids. Completely on point.

tagskie said...

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Flying high in the sky.... said...

how come no posts for so long?? hope everything is well.... hope kids are good..hope your life has taken a positive turn...take care

Anonymous said...

Lies

whoyt said...

Lies? how so?? And don't you have better things to do than to comment on a 5 year old blog post?