Say what?

In the state of Maryland, when parents are having trouble working out custody issues, the courts will often order mediation. So for 4 hours and $600 I get to sit across from a woman who I can't stand to look at while she tries to excuse the things she's done as if I (or the mediator) gives a rats hairy butt about what she's saying. Well, ok, maybe the mediator gives a butt......

Look, I will be the first to admit that I have no clue as to what goes on with my children when they are at my stbx's (soon (but not soon enough) to be ex) house. But if the last five years is any indication of her care giving then I have real concerns for the well being of my children. Am I supposed to say 'Oh sure, you've been phoning in the whole 'mothering' thing for the last five years but you're probably doing a much better job now. Go ahead and raise my kids as you see fit.' 

What I need to happen is exactly the thing the courts don't want to have happen. See the courts feel, and I somewhat agree, that the parents are best equipped to make the decisions for their children. The courts will send parents to mediation in hopes that most if not all of the major issues can be resolved. This just won't work in our case. And I think that this was pretty obvious when the mediator had to separate us shortly after the session started. 

What I need to happen is to have a custody evaluator come in and take a look at what's going on behind the closed doors then make a recommendation to the courts. And given our first mediation session, I expect that this will be the only way to resolve things.