Stroke Me (The Billy Squire Song You Perverts)

So where was I??

Oh yeah, the feeling funky thing. Eh, been there done that. Got the bumper sticker.

I was talking with a friend tonight who has been feeling...down I guess. Most certainly there are things going on in her life to give her the blues. She's not currently in a relationship that she's 100% about but then besides Lola and Dylan and BWG who is??

I mean really, maybe it's just me but I don't think I've ever been with my "end of the world" girl. I'm not sure she exists. I guess I go around thinking maybe next time but the next time hasn't been it either. Ah well, maybe next time.

And now that my situation has changed dramatically since the last time I dated. I don't know if I will ever find my end of the world girl. It's not just about me now. I'm a daddy and there's a lot of weight that comes with the title. Hell, my dad knows it. His second wife was for me and my brother more than she was for him. It didn't work out at all because not only was she a pretty lifeless wife, she had the parenting skills of a chalkboard. But he did what he thought was best for us kids. He took the bullet.

So here I am, checking out the market (just window shopping really, can't afford to buy anything at the moment) and I seem to be drawn towards the 'would be a great mother' section. Nothing wrong with that really, just not...eh, I don't know. 

The problem is that I screwed up the last time. The only reason I got married to my soon to be not, is because I thought she could be a decent mother. Or not, I don't know. I guess I now know what I don't want for my girls.

Look, the bottom line is to go with what your heart tells you. Our heads have no business being involved with these kinds of decisions regardless of what the 'safe' us wants to tell ourselves. Our heads can be fooled just as easily as any other part of our anatomy so maybe if we do get fooled in the end it should be at least somewhat tragic.

Night Guys