Tuesday, April 15, 2008

D-I-V-O-R-C-E Find Out What it Means to Me

Three months ago (0n our 10th anniversary) my wife told me that was no longer happy with our marriage and wanted out. I remember falling to my knees crying and pleading with her to rethink this but what I didn't know then was that she was already gone. No amount of begging was going to change that fact.

Looking back at that night the one fact that jumps out at me was less of a concern about the idea that it would no longer be me and wife together forever, my thoughts were with my children. What would happen to them.

Now, before I go any further there is a group of people who believe that children are resilient and that most get through it just fine. I know how this group thinks as my wife is it's leader and spokesperson. I'll get into this a bit more later but for now I am acknowledging that you people exist and I'll leave it at that.

I will begin to tread on very shaky ground now as since I am as of yet not separated from my wife, the things that I say may be used in any future legal actions involving me and my soon to be ex.  Lawyers can be fun people to talk to.

There is an interesting statistic that states that 3/4 of divorces are initiated by women. 

According to Robin Fretwell Wilson, Law professor of Washington and Lee University, professional women have a slightly higher divorce rate then men. Economist Sylvia Hewlett theorizes that the higher divorce rate is based on these women not being able to give their husbands that care and support they need. I don't know how I feel about this statement as I know plenty of great, successful women who have strong marriages but it's something to consider. The opinion can be drawn that men aren't getting the support they need and in turn poisoning their marriage.

The Census Bureau put the percentage of divorces at around 11% in 1950, in 2006 the rate was just above 50% and is expected to be at or above 60% within the next 10 years. And women will be initiating most of these divorces.

Raising children is a difficult task regardless of the employment situation. It's hard to be a stay at home parent, male or female. True, the deck is a little more stacked against the stay at home dads but this is and will continue to change. 

The thing that both parents need to remind themselves of at all times is that you made choices for the children. Being a stay at home parent is a sacrifice for both parents but the benefits to the child are invaluable. 

But for all you stay at home dads I will say this, based on statistics there is a target on your back and most of you won't hear the bullet slide into the chamber before it tears through your heart.

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