What About the Wars You Win but Still Lose

If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.
-sun tzu

The author of The Art of War also wrote that if you know yourself but don't know your enemy then you can expect to lose half the battles. And of course if you don't know yourself nor the enemy then your screwed.

I find that I am reevaluating myself and the enemy on almost a daily basis. While there was a time that I thought I understood what my wife was and wasn't capable of, it's clear to me now that I don't nor did I ever.

However, I do know a few things. I know what I believe in, what I know to be of value, and what I am willing to fight for. And I now understand that I didn't truly know my wife because I could never have imagined myself ever doing the things that she has done.

Every time we read the news about some atrocious act of violence and we think to ourselves 'How could anyone do this', we are reflecting our own sense of humanity onto the situation. We could never imagine ourselves beating up the 86 year old lady so how could anyone do this?

The Art of War has been read by many of the top CEO's in this world. They will almost always reference the book when asked about their strategies in dealing with their competition.

Sun Tzu wrote that one should avoid razing the cities of the enemy as that lessens the value of the victory. When you gain control of your enemies lands, would you not have them be prosperous rather than burnt to the ground?

*Note to self - Give wife copy of The Art of War for Mothers Day.

As hard as this may be to believe, I've been somewhat kind when I write about that actions of my wife. Maybe not kind in the caring, compassionate sense but in the 'hold back a lot' sense. Divorce can be at times somewhat like a war. I know that this divorce especially has it's moments. I'm so tired of being the one who has tried to keep the peace, thinking if it's smooth around here then maybe she'll lighten up a bit. My wife is projecting her anger on to me and she will never lighten up. Her anger of not understanding the things I need to do to be ok with myself. The things that whether she believes it or not are what I feel are best for our children. I thought that somewhere down the road she would lighten up but I was mistaken and that mistake has cost me a few battles. But that's over now.

Lawyers tell me that I should keep a journal of the things that happen with her. They're right. 

Laters