Rules of Engagement

Should you be a stay at home father? Yes, yes and more yes. HOWEVER, be aware ahead of time as to what you're getting into. According to an article I read, in 2003 (when my first child was born) there were 143,000 fathers who stayed home versus (a bad choice of words) 5.6 million mothers. What does this mean? Well, when a stay at home father goes to the park with his child during a work day, that father was unlikely to meet another stay at home father. Add to this that men are not social creatures by nature AND while you are out with your child you will probably be looked at with suspicion by the stay at home mothers, men are faced with an uphill climb from the get go.

If you are the wife of a current or soon to be stay at home father then take these rules to heart and never forget them.

Rule number 1 - MEN ARE NOT SOCIAL.
We just aren't. This is why we married you. If allowed we will become shut ins. Understand that being in an environment where we are out numbered by women sometimes 30 to 1 is uncomfortable to say the least. Add to this that most of these women look at us like they are looking at an act in a carnival freak show, most men pack up the diaper bags and go home.

Rule number 2 - WE DO NOT CLEAN LIKE YOU WOULD.
For most men (and I say this without doing any extensive research) if it looks clean then it is clean. We tend to straighten more then scrub and never expect us to dust. Laundry? Maybe but we hate sorting, folding, and hanging. Before the child and when both of you worked, the housecleaning was less of a chore. Now you have a child spilling and dumping it's way through the house all day long. If you come home from a long day at work and your house doesn't look like Peter Jackson just got through shooting his latest movie in your living room, give your husband a kiss and a pat on the head for a job well done.

Rule number 3 - NEVER, EVER COMPARE YOUR DAY TO YOUR HUSBANDS.
According to Salary.com, a stay at home mother (sorry dads, we're still behind a bit) should earn $138,000 for the job they do. I'm not bringing this number up as an an argument to support this rule but it should give you pause if the idea that your husband has it made ever enters your mind. At some point in this whole process you two will get into an argument as to who's job is tougher. The fight is not winnable by either side but once started it is near impossible to ever leave behind.

One little interesting tidbit about my adventure as a stay at home father, both of my children stopped taking naps at around 1 year of age. Actually I think Nikki may have stopped at 1 1/2 years. I'm not sure that Jessie ever napped. You would understand what this meant if you were a stay at home parent.