Free Bird

I know this guy named Frank. He's one of those down south good ole' boy by his own admission. Frank just got through his second divorce.

When he talks about it it's hard to tell where his head is really at. He's been hurt, there's no doubt about that. He probably has a huge distrust of women. We joke about how all ex's should be tied together and taken out to the deep part of an ocean. He's bitter, and I get that. It's hard not to be bitter when you feel like you've been treated unfairly.

I know a bit of his wife's side of the story. Maybe it's the things she couldn't tell me that drove her to this but from what I do know it's quite possible that they could have worked things out if they both tried. But that's just an opinion from a third party. Who knows. The one thing that I am thankful for was that there were no children caught in the middle. Not that this makes it ok. It just makes it less not ok.

A friend of mine has been separated from her husband for awhile. Kids are all grown and she still lives in the family home. She still loves her husband and would take him back in a heartbeat. The thing is that he doesn't want her and worst part of all this is that he abuses her love for him making demands and threatening divorce. So she is unable to move on with her life.

Everyone deals with losing someone they love differently.

Anger is a big emotion to deal with. If you let it get out of control then you could wind up becoming something you don't want to become. And you have to live with yourself afterwards. My anger is tempered by my children. I don't want them growing up thinking I was some kind of beast who only thought about his own emotions. And I know the word regret very, very well. I'm not willing to get that word tattoo'd anywhere anytime soon.

But anger is the thing that will kill you if you let it. You can become so angry that no one wants to be around you. You poison healthy relationships, and it adds to your anger. Feed it and it continues to grow.

But as a 110lbs woman reminded me recently, It isn't about you. Get over it and move on. Get back to who you were before all of this and grow healthy again.

And for gods sake, find someone to love and who loves you. Love trumps anger every time.

And I love you guys. If you think this was meant for you then it probably was.