I Wanna be a Cowboy, Baby

Today I feel broken.

Today I had to confront my wife about the damage she has been inflicting on our children.

Today I had to remind her that I have a very dark and evil part of me and if she didn't stop taking her anger out on the girls I would open the evil up to her and her world would become very different, very fast.

Today I did the one thing I hoped I wouldn't have to do. I gave my wife a real reason to fear me.

Today I feel broken.

My wife got back from church and said that she needed to go see her mother. No problem. She then tried to hand me two free tickets to the circus and said that if I wanted to take the girls, she would fund it. She said it like she was throwing me a table scrap that I should be thankful for .......AND I LOST IT!!!

I spent last night comforting my child who expected her mother to be home meanwhile her mother was at some party and didn't come home till 2:30am. I'm tired, I'm sick, and I have the shakes from some Ambien side effect. And I should feel grateful that you would pay so your children can go to the circus?

I'm sorry but go to hell.

I finally reached the end. I've taken every bad thing she has thrown at me and my children.  I was wrong in doing it. I was a bad parent.

When we discipline our children it's not because they did something bad. We discipline them so they won't do it again. My wife is not a child but when she acts like one then I need to act like the parent.

So today I told my wife this. "Somehow you have forgotten how much I can hurt a person if I really want to." Then I told her two things.

EDIT- On second thought writing what I told my wife could get her lawyer a little too excited. I'm sure I've done that enough already.

And that was it. I mean sure there was a a lot of blah, blah, BS. She gets this stupid smirk when she thinks she knows more then me or if she thinks she can bluff me with it. I went outside, she followed. I told her to just get out of my house and I'll take care of the girls. She says it's not my house and I come back with 'well half of it is.' This pisses her off. So she decides to take the girls and leave. I will never tell her that she can't take the girls and I can only hope she's at least trying to be a thoughtful mother with them today and not parading other men around them.

And if she does at least try to be a thoughtful mother today then it truly will be a Happy Mother's Day.

But the day was still young and a bunch of interesting stuff was yet to happen. I'll write when the house is quite again.