Some People Juggle Geese

Back before my wife wanted me dead, back before the kids, back before everything really, my wife and I had a lot of good days.

On one of these good days my wife and I were in our bedroom doing the thing that plenty of newly married couples probably do. Anyway, in the middle or actually the beginning of this the phone rings and it was her brother. I answer the phone as I am the only one able to talk at the time and he goes "What are you all doing?" And I say "Dude, you know want to know. Then he says "Really, what are you up to?" and again I tell him that he is better off not knowing. And this goes on for 5 minutes. But he is insisting and finally I say "Beth is...BLEEP, BLEEP and BLEEP" Not surprisingly he hangs up. My wife and I start laughing our asses off. We thought it was just the funniest thing in the world. So much so that I don't think we ever got back to what it was we were doing. He called back about 3 hours later (which, by the way was giving me way too much credit) and told me to never say anything like that again and hangs up. And I say (to no one) "Well next time when someone tells you that you're better off not knowing something then take them at their word and let it go."

My wife and I broke up shortly after that.

I don't know, I flipped out. It had nothing to do with her family, or even her really. I just got scared and lost it. So I moved out of the house and got an apartment and we were apart for about 6 months give or take. And I got a phone calls or emails almost everyday....from her brother. And it was always the same thing, I had to get back with his sister. He would invite me to dinner or whatever but seriously I heard from him more than I heard from my wife.

And we've been pretty tight ever since. We used to go to the grocery store when his youngest was still an infant and play "Gay Parents." We've always been the two guys in a room full of females at almost every Christmas, birthday, or whatever for the last 10 years. We use to play golf almost every weekend when I still played the game. He would show up at my doorstep at 7:30 in the morning to play video games. Of course he would have breakfast from McDonalds so my wife wouldn't be too pissed.

And he threw me out of his life as quick as could be.

My wife and children came home from church one morning She gets them a snack and sets them in the living room. She then comes into the kitchen where I was sitting and says "Why don't you just leave". I took this to mean she wanted me to leave our home and live somewhere else. I explained to her that this would not be in my best interest and that I wasn't leaving my girls.  She then says "You should go get a job like a real man" and "I'm sick of living with a mental patient." She then tells me that I "need to pay for my own car insurance." At this point I decide to leave the environment as I can see that my wife is upset and the children, who are sitting within earshot in the next room, would soon detect her mood.

I drove to my brother in laws house. And he has known about all of this for a few weeks. In fact I spent 4+ hours at his house the previous day having breakfast and helping him move and set up a trampoline that they had just bought for their children. I enter his house and sit down as he's watching tv. I ask him what he's watching and he says that he's not sure and that he's been on the phone. At this point he says that we need to talk. I can tell by his voice that the conversation was going to probably be about the argument between my wife and I. I ask if he would like to go outside as his two daughters were in the house. He says "No, I'm going to have to ask you to leave my house."

Look, taking the side of a sibling is completely understandable. I get it and would probably do the same. But at some point the whole right and wrong argument would become a problem for me. And what my wife, his sister is doing is wrong.

It is wrong that she is so ready to throw away this marriage and put our babies through a divorce. It is wrong that she is taking actions that negatively affect our children. It is wrong for her to blame anyone else but herself for her unhappiness. And when she reads this later today she'll get angry and take something or turn something off that will hurt the children. But again, I defy anyone to say that anything I've written has been incorrect.

I'm not asking for him or anyone else to step up and try to get though to her. I tried that in the beginning when her friends were all shocked that she would do this and quiet honestly, I think I'm past the point of caring. It just makes me wonder where is all the charity, compassion, and mercy that some of these people say they believe in?

Well this post jumped ahead in the order I had planned. It's been a bad night for me and I guess it's reflected in this post. Sorry. Hopefully I'll have happier news tomorrow.

Peace,
W